The Conversation I’d Been Avoiding
I had a really good person on my team. Sharp, committed, genuinely passionate about the work. There was also a behaviour that was quietly undermining her credibility as a leader — her tone, in certain moments, landed as harsh. People were put off by it without quite knowing why.
I knew it needed to be addressed. I’d been avoiding it. Not because I didn’t care — because I did, and I didn’t want to diminish something that was actually one of her best qualities. The passion was real. I just didn’t know how to separate the two.
Then I happened to pull up her profile one afternoon and there it was, in plain language: passion can occasionally be misinterpreted as harshness.
The next day I was walking down the hall and I heard what sounded like someone raising their voice. It was her, making a point to a colleague. I stopped. Listened. Thought — there it is.
I called her in and told her exactly what happened. I’d been reading her profile, I’d seen that note, and then I’d overheard the conversation. I wasn’t accusing her of anything. I just asked: would you agree that’s something worth paying attention to?
What followed was one of the better conversations I’ve had as a leader. Not because it resolved cleanly — it didn’t, not right away. But because it opened something up that we’d both been circling around without naming.
That’s what a good personality profile can do. Not tell you something you didn’t know. Give you the language to say something you’ve been avoiding.
Why I Use Insights Discovery
The tool I use — and have used for over two decades — is Insights Discovery. It’s built on the psychology of Carl Jung, and I’m certified in it, which matters less than the fact that I’ve seen it work consistently across very different people, teams, and situations.
What makes it practical is the colour model. Four colour energies — Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green, Cool Blue — each describing a different way of engaging with the world. Not a box people get put in. A starting point for understanding how someone thinks, communicates, and responds under pressure.
When you can say “she tends toward Fiery Red when the stakes are high” and everyone in the room understands what that means — how she’ll want to move, what she’ll need from you, where friction is likely to come from — the conversation gets more useful and considerably less personal.
You’re not talking about who someone is. You’re talking about how they’re showing up, and what might help.
That’s the shift. And it’s not a small one.
Where Most Leaders Go Wrong
They use them once. Onboarding, maybe a team workshop, and then the profiles go into a drawer. The value is in returning to them — during performance conversations, during periods of change, when something in a relationship feels stuck and you’re not sure why. The profile often has the answer, or at least the starting point for the conversation.
They only look at the strengths. Every profile has a shadow side. A strategic thinker in the wrong role becomes a bottleneck. A process-driven operator in a role that demands constant novelty becomes miserable, and eventually disruptive. The profile tells you how someone sees the world — not just what they’re good at, but where they’re likely to struggle and why.
That’s the part worth sitting with.
They use them to label people. This is the one that causes real damage. Profiles describe tendencies, not ceilings. Any colour energy can lead. Any personality type can grow. The moment you start thinking he’s Cool Blue, he’ll never be able to make the fast call — you’ve stopped leading and started sorting.
That’s not what these tools are for.
What They’re Actually For
What they’re actually for is giving you a better map of the person in front of you. Where they’re likely to thrive. Where they might need support. How to have the conversation that’s been sitting there waiting.
Done well, Insights Discovery doesn’t change how you see your team. It changes how well you see them.
That’s a different thing, and it matters more than most leaders realize until they’re in the middle of a conversation that finally lands.
